And Time Keeps Ticking By

It's been a while and I am not really sure if anyone reads my blog but it is pretty therapeautic for me. I can't believe it is November already. Where did the time go? We have had some milestones though. Mike and I received a referral and we prayed and prayed and came to the decision that it was not the one for us. First of all it was totally unexpected--didn't think it would happen that fast. Second off, we would have had to come up with $15,000 immediately. Third of all we didn't get a peace about it. She was a sweet little girl and I pray that she finds her perfect family soon. Since she is already cleared for adoption I am sure a wonderful family will get this precious child. There was a tremendous amount of guilt that came with not accepting this referral though. Once we made our decision a weight seemed to be lifted and I know that God is not of confusion so I am sure we made the right decision. But now that we have gotten a taste our patience has not been good. Every Friday afternoon I feel disappointed because it means we have to wait the weekend for another chance to hear about a referral.

Our second big milestone was getting fingerprinted. It was so awesome and I don't think I would have ever been excited to be fingerprinted ( in my college days I expected it. lol) but it represented something getting checked off the adoption list. Wouldn't you know that I knew someone in the immigration office. I am getting just like my dad. He knows everyone and can go to San Diego and run into someone he knows. I am just a chip off the old block. It was a couple I went to high school with that are adopting their second Ethiopian baby. How exciting!!!

Another milestone has nothing to do with adoption but does have to do with our two homegrown boys---Halloween. We did 3 fall festivals/trunk or treat. Needless to say I have been eating lots of minature chocolate bars that are attaching to my thighs. I hate it being in this house because I can't say NO!!!. Mike and I stick our kids with smarties and skittles while we steal the chocolate. Aren't we awful?? Hayden was a homemade Harry Potter and Noah was a clown. We are Halloweened out though.


On a last note, I have been really sad and thinking of my sweet Jaron lately. It is six months tomorrow that he departed this earth and joined Jesus. I am being selfish and wishing I could get one last update about him. I have been praying hard that God shows me how I can honor Jaron--maybe a nonprofit or grant. He was such a great boy and I really can't wait to wrap my arms around him. I broke down in front of one of my dear friends today and I am sure she thinks I am a lunatic even though she is as sweet as pie. I love those friends that love you know matter how looney you are. She has been a true blessing in my life. Right now I have also been praying for Sarah's Covenant Homes. This biggest cyclone in 30 yrs is supposed to hit and her main volunteers are out of the country. I am praying.  I am glad Jaron endured his last cyclone in April and doesn't have to endure this one.

Until Next Time


Lori

Keepin It Real

Ok so last night I was out with some ladies from MOPS(Mothers of Preschoolers) and we were talking about people who gloss everything and make everything sound so peachy. We related it to the Christmas letter you get from people who have the picture perfect life or so it seems. We all agreed that we stop reading after the first couple of lines and that we prefer those people that "keep it real."   You know the ones who admit that their kids get on their nerves from time to time--even daily. Wake up people--it doesn't mean we don't love our kids. It means we are being honest.

Ok not sure where this is going but I decided to delete someone off my facebook friends list. The type of person who makes everything seem picture perfect and someone who loves to act as though her kids are perfect. The funny thing is I know she really stretches the truth. hehe!!!! Anyways it was so freeing and liberating that I might just delete somemore peeps. You see life is too short to surround yourself with phony balonies. lol!!!

Onto the adoption front:   waiting on our agency to approve our homestudy and then we have signed the immigration papers I-800. Getting excited as it is slowly but surely moving forward.

Bless you all!!!

Peace Out!!!
Lori

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Even perfect days can end in rain

 I am sure if anyone actually reads these posts they are sick of the depressing tone.  To be honest, I am not really depressed at all.  I really want to get to the fun and carefree posts but right now that isn't what is on my mind. Sarah (from Sarah's Covenant homes) posted that it's hard just to go to some upbeat post right after the death of a child. I am feeling the same way. To be honest I am still having a hard time with Jaron's death. To be honest  I still think about it alot. I have to ask myself is this normal for a child I never personally knew? But I think it's an indicator of how special he was. God laid him on my heart for a reason.  I saw a lady bring her disabled son to the pool the other day and I stared--not because he was disabled--but because I was thinking that could have been me if we had adopted Jaron. I could have been taking him to the pool with us---doing normal things with HIS OWN FAMILY. I saw people in a restuarant bring their handicapped daughter who was in a wheelchair. She couldn't move her arms or legs but you could see eyes that knew what was going on. It was a hibachi restuarant and she knew what was going on. Yes, her parents had to feed her but she was smiling and loved. I thought this could have been us with Jaron.  I see ads in the Parenting Magazine and I instantly go to the ad for rehab services for kids with brain trauma and Cerebral Palsy. I think how much good this would be for Jaron. I see clothes that would look good on Jaron and think about sending them to India but then I remember ....he is gone. Trust me I know he is having the time of his life but I miss him. I debated about whether I was gonna put this in here because I am sure there are some people that think I am nuts but so be it if they do--maybe I am hehe!!  . . .  I really was having a hard time and asked God to send me some sign that would let me know that Jaron was ok and I asked that it would be a sign that I would notice (sometimes I need the neon flashing light sign ..lol!) and we walked out of the pool one day and their was the whitest dove sitting right in front of me. All the people were like " I wonder where it came from" and the kids were walking right up to it and it wasn't scared, didn't fly away. I knew exactly where it came from.    God does some incredible things for us!!
   
It's really weird for me to see people fuss over the exact outfit they put on their child for a special day, even though I have been guilty many times for the same thing. It's weird to see people spend so much money on their kids' clothing, even though I was once guilty of the same thing. It's frustrating for me to see parents fix two to three different meals for dinner time because their kids are so picky.  It's kills me to see kids pitch fits because they didn't get a new toy while out with their mom at walmart.  It actually makes my skin crawl when my own kids tell me they are starving.   I guess it all makes me sick when I know there are kids living on the streets and eating other people's leftovers. Many could say you just have to put it behind you but that isn't true at all. There is a Bible verse (not sure where right now) that says something to the effect that once you are aware, then you are responsible.

All I can say is God is really working on me right now and I know the end result is gonna be awesome. 

I'll leave you with my favorite song for right now. . .

Beautiful Beautiful

Jaron

This is a post I never wanted to write. My Jaron died Sunday, June 6, 2010.  I was super attached to this little boy at Sarah's Covenant Homes. He came to her home in Dec 2009 in very bad shape. He had seemed to be neglected and malnourished for a long time. I really started following Sarah's blog when Jaron came. He touched my heart. I think because he is 8 and so is my oldest. He had severe cerebral palsy and was currently non-verbal. You know what he did have though? A wonderful smile. That smile could light up the room. After all this little boy must have been thru, he still had a smile.  Me and the boys went and bought him clothes in January and sent him some stuff that was Hayden's. We got him a bear and a blanket. I wanted him to have something special since he probably never had anything new or special in his life. More than anything I wanted him to know he was loved and important. The last 6 months of his life were filled with love and nourishment. Sarah loved this boy. This last wk has been awful for me. I just couldn't believe God took this boy from us that had just started to get some attention and love. In my mind I really thought I could bring this boy home one day and give him love, attention, and water therapy. I know it probably wasn't feasible but it was wishful thinking. I prayed for him all the time. He was one of my own kids--that just happened to live in India. He had a peaceful death and for that I am thankful. Sarah was by his side loving on him right till the end.  I prayed that God would make him happy and God did. It just isn't the way I imagined but it's even better. He is now talking up a storm and doing all the great things that 8 yr olds should do. He now knows who I am and how much I love him. I hope he has that permanent smile on his face now and has those new walking legs.

I have prayed for his family that felt they had no other choice but to abandon him. I pray they have peace. I don't understand how anyone could leave this precious boy but I hope they know how awesome he really was. I pray for their salvation so they can one day see him again.

I just don't won't him to be forgotten. His life was not in vain. He has shown so many people about love and courage.  He inspired me to help Sarah and all the other kids thru getting donated wheelchairs to visiting project cure about doing a special project for Sarah's covenant homes. I want to do something in his name to honor him. If anyone has ideas let me know. I do know that he needs a grave marker, along with 2 others girls from Sarah's. That's the least we can do, right?

Jaron, I can't wait to get to Heaven and hug you and kiss you. I hope you are enjoying the wonders that I can't even comprehend. When I get there, we are gonna do whatever you want, ok?  I just want to hold your hand and laugh with you. I love you, sweet boy.


Lori

Dedicated to the orphans of the world

I found this song by Mat Kearney. I really like him and he lives in Nashville.
Here is the lyrics to his song --Breathe In Breathe Out. It reminds me of all the kids at Sarah's Covenant Homes--http://www.sarahscovenanthomes.blogspot.com/.  Nikki, from Canada, has been there for the past month. She has truly seen the "light in their eyes."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDmnG9uTEfk&feature=player_embedded

Breath in breathe out




Tell me all of your doubt



If everybody bleeds this way



just the same



Breath in breathe out



Move on and break down



If everyone.. goes away



I will stay



We push and pull,



and I fall down sometimes



I'm not letting go,



you hold the other line







Cause there is a light



In your eyes, in your eyes



Hold on, hold tight



From out of your sight



Everything keeps moving on, moving on,



Hold on hold tight



Make it through another night



Everyday there comes the sun with the dawn

[ Breathe In Breathe Out lyrics from

http://www.lyricsyoulove.com/m/mat_kearney/breathe_in_breathe_out/ ]

We push and pull, and I fall down sometimes



I'm not letting go, you hold the other line







Cause there is a light



In your eyes, in your eyes



There is a light



In your eyes, in your eyes







Breath in and breath out (x4)







Look left, look right



to the moon and the night



Everything under the stars in your arms



There is a light



In your eyes, in your eyes



There is a light (x4)

Why Why Why???

Lately I feel like I am having to answer to a lot of whys. Some to my parents and some to our agency that wants to know why we are wanting to adopt and why from India.  It has had me thinking in depth about adoption in general. I read someone's blog on adoption and I follow alot of their ideas. Adoption is not fixing a problem. It's a choice to help make a problem somewhat better. Children should ultimately live with their biological parents. In many socities single mothers are looked down upon and in essence their life is over. Their destiny is prostitution. That is their only choice. Kids with disabilities are shunned. Countries are poor and there isn't medical resources to care for sick and disabled kids. Parents are dying from AIDS or they are being killed from civil war within their own country. Some people are sick --whether it is from drug addiction or psychological sickness. This can result in kids being neglected and even abused. I could go on and on but you get the point.  The solution to this is more mission work. More missionaries are needed so bad. Life skills in mission work is needed. Medical care is needed--meaning doctors and nurses in the mission fields are needed. Missionaries are needed ultimately to teach others about Christ. Teaching others to help the poor and sick and not to shun them is mandatory. This is how we start to get biological parents to keep their children.
As a Christian, I am supposed to be the hands and feet of God. In Mark 16:5 we are called to go out and preach the gospel. "Go out" means action.   DEU 10:18 " He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing." Of course, this doesn't mean everyone has to adopt. There are many other ways to be the hands and feet of God. Trust me I know this from first hand knowledge--I am involved in Meals for wheels, various charities but it's not enough.  For me, this is my calling. After months of prayer and soul searching, this is what Mike and I have been called to do. My aunt called me the other day to share a thought by Max Lucado on his calendar. I won't recite it exactly but here is my version---Max starts by asking what is your fire and passion?? Is it caring for orphans....etc.  He then goes to talk about when he was thinking of becoming a preacher he sought counseling from another preacher. The preacher told him "don't preach unless you have to." As Max pondered this --he thought I have to--it's my fire, it's my passion.  I can't tell you how much this made me smile because I relate so much.

I've struggled for so long to find my passion.  I've prayed and prayed and prayed. God is now opening all kinds of doors for this passion. So in a nutshell this is why we are adopting. We have no idea where this will lead us because we didn't ever know we would be led in this direction. Our lives are not ours --they belong to God. We're just following His lead. This is also the reason we are choosing India. We prayed about it and it's where our child is. As for the question that we get a lot -"there are plenty of kids here, why don't you get one from here." God put India on our heart. God didn't intend for everyone to be the same. 

Hope this made some sense.  Until next time. . .

Remember when you submit yourself to God, He will take you places you never dreamed you could go!!!

Don't know where to start

Gosh--this will be such a babbling post I am sure. I thought when I got a blog I wouldn't be able to shut up but that hasn't been the case thus far.  I can't get my thought together enough to blog.

We finally sent off our contract on last Wed--April 21. It seems so real now. Nervous and super excited. I actually think Mike might be a tad more excited than me. Hayden is starting to ask where "she" will sit in our car--even offering to give up his booster seat. lol!!! Now on to the paperwork stack---------ahhh! This dossier will be the death of me. It's so worth it I know.

Finally told my parents this past Sunday. They are having a tough time. It's so new to them.  They are in shock and concerned for us. They have heard bad adoption stories where we on the other hand have heard so many good ones that out weigh the bad  times 5.  It's also not a great time to be springing adoption on people when they just heard the Russian story of the woman in Tn sending her child back. ( I'll save my thoughts on that for another post. ) We have been looking at this stuff for over a yr so I can understand their shock. Pray for them and me. It's hard being such a close family --sometimes there are no boundaries--no realization that I am not 15 anymore. It's tough.

Had an awesome sermon at church this past Sunday. It spoke to Mike and I. It was all about Gideon and stepping out in Faith.  Our pastor was talking about not being a cream puff Christian.  God called  Gideon  a mighty man of valour even when he was hiding under a tree. God knew the plans he had for Gideon though and he knew he could be a mighty man of valour. It was just an awesome sermon--I'm still thinking about it. Our new quote that will be our family motto--"When you submit yourself to God, He will take you places you never dreamed you could go." Ain't that the truth??? (ok I know ain't is not proper English but I will be throwing some southern slang in here from time to time-lol!)

Ok I'll leave you with my new favorite song by Leeland.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ajIFfSaEzE

You lived among the least of these


The weary and the weak

And it would be a tragedy for me to turn away.



All my needs you have supplied.

When i was dead you gave me life.

How could i not give it away so freely?



And i`ll follow you into the homes that are broken.

Follow you into the world.

Meet the needs for the poor and the needy god.

Follow you into the world.



Use my hands use my feet

To make your kingdom come

Through the corners of the earth

Until your work is done

`cause faith without works is dead

And on the cross your blood was shed

So how could i not give it away so freely?



And i`ll follow you into the homes that are broken.

Follow you into the world.

Meet the needs for the poor and the needy god.

Follow you into the world.

(x2)



I give all myself.

I give all myself

I give all myself.to you.



And i give all myself.

Yes i give all myself.

And i give all myself.to you.



And i`ll follow you into the homes that are broken

Follow you into the world.

Meet the needs for the poor and the needy god.

Follow you into the world.

(x2)

First Post on My First Blog

Ok --my first blog post on my brand new blog. I am starting this blog to journal about our adoption to India. I wonder if anyone will really read this blog. lol!!!  I see that everyone else's blog is awesome. Some--I can't wait to see if they have updated. I have a feeling mine will be ....... boring. So I am taking advice on how to spice it up.

Ok more to come later.